Monday, April 23, 2012

Books & Birth Plans

This weekend we passed the 25-week mark of our pregnancy, which means we have less than 15 weeks to go until the birth (that is, if everything happens on time).  It's funny how our perception of time changes with context.  For instance, we now have about 10 weeks to go before we're scheduled to close on our new house, and that 10 weeks sounds like forever to me.*  But 15 weeks, when we're talking about beefing up this baby by about 6 more pounds and then finally pushing it out of my body, sounds like absolutely no time at all.  It's right around the corner!

Just a few of the baby books we've
 been referencing thus far.
Anyway, in an effort to better prepare myself for The Big Day, I've recently started attacking my stack of baby books with new vigor.  My favorites to read, for better or for worse, tend to be the ones about what to do after the baby comes.  Should we co-sleep?   Wear our baby?  What are tried and true ways to bond with baby after birth?  What gizmos and gadgets will we want at home to make life with baby more convenient or more fun or safer for baby?  These are the sorts of questions that are fun to consider as we anticipate the road ahead.

Regrettably, I've been less motivated to read about the labor process and what to do to prepare for labor.  This feels a lot more like homework than the former.  Nevertheless, I know that in a few weeks my midwives and my doula are going to start asking me for a copy of my birth plan, and, though I do already have a strong general sense of what it will be, it would probably benefit me to start fleshing out the details sooner than later.

Thus, these are the sorts of questions I've been pondering today--and will continue to ponder until I have a genuine plan on paper:

  • How can I best achieve a drug- and intervention-free birth?
  • Under what circumstances might my preferences regarding particular interventions change?
  • How will I work with my medical team to preserve a sense of participation/cooperation in my care if something goes wrong?
  • What methods or tools would I like to use for relaxation through labor?
  • What are my preferences regarding testing and separation after the baby is born?
  • Which parts of my birth plan are high priority?  And which are most negotiable?

For some of these questions, and for others I haven't listed here, I have easy answers, at least in part.  But some require a lot more thought.  And still more I'm sure will be added to the list as I continue to read and educate myself.

I'm hoping that, between the books and the advice of other, trusted moms I know, within a few weeks I'll be well-armed to compose a clear and confident plan to share with my birth team.  In the meantime, Moms-I-Know, keep sending along advice!  I'm glad to receive it; even when Bryan and I have already made a decision about our labor or our parenting thereafter, it feels good to have a wider sense of what our options are!


* Quick housing update:  Though the place we were under contract to buy earlier this month fell through, we were extremely fortunate to find another home--one which we love--almost right away.  We're under contract again and looking at closing at the end of June.  Let's hope we have better luck this time around!
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  1. StaciaMay 8, 2012 at 8:32 PM

    My friend Hannah has had two kids. She gave me a book which she said was super awesome for husbands...it is called The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All other Labor Companions. I've looked through it and found it to be very detailed and explicit about what's going on with mom pre-birth, birth, and post-birth, and offers awesome suggestions for providing support. I highly recommend.

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    1. MegMay 11, 2012 at 9:20 AM

      Yup, we heard about this, too, and we picked it up for Bryan soon after we learned we were expecting. I think he's finding it helpful, though he's been going through it pretty slowly, maybe because the birth is still a few months away, maybe because we have the Kindle edition and only one Kindle (which is what I use for most of my own reading). As for me, I think my favorite book so far is probably the Dr. Sears Birth Book. It's been the most informative in as far as formulating my birth plan is concerned (a high priority issue for me right now). One of these days I'd also like to pick up their Baby Book, since I don't yet have that one. In the meantime, Your Baby's First Year has been a helpful tool when it comes to anticipating and preparing for those first few months *after* the birth--though, for obvious reasons, I haven't gone *too* far into that one yet!

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